Apparently midlife crisis in men are on the rise, so if you’re wondering how to avoid a midlife crisis, I have a few questions for you to consider…
Do you have an urge to rekindle the passion, spontaneity and excitement you felt when you were younger? Do you feel like your best years are behind you? Have you stopped telling people your age, bought yourself a sports car or started dyeing your hair?
If so, according to Dr Phil these are some of the warning signs indicating you may be going through a midlife crisis.
But if that is you, don’t worry because in this post I explore how a simple shift in perspective could help you see this potentially tricky period in a mans life, actually as an opportunity to live your life more aligned with what matters most to you and for you.
What is A Midlife Crisis?
The term midlife crisis was first coined in 1965 and is defined as a loss of self-confidence and feeling of anxiety or disappointment that can occur in early middle age. It is a stage in life when men can start to question the life they’re living and the person they’ve become.
Research published in the The Daily Telegraph states that a modern midlife crisis hits men aged 43, although it can happen at any age between 40 and 60 and lasts from 3 to 10 years. That makes me a prime candidate, I turned 41 last week and relate to many of the top 40 signs of a midlife crisis, such as quitting your job, still going to music festivals, wanting a simpler life, taking up extreme sports.
I say what’s the problem with that?
Midlife Crises Aren’t Age Dependent
I can understand why for many men, their 40’s are potentially a tricky time to navigate. No man wants to get old and lose the drive and virility they had when they were younger.
Every human being on this planet wants to survive and avoid death for as long as possible, is part of our genetic coding. But looking back and thinking life/I was better when I was younger or looking forward and thinking life isn’t going to pan out the way you’d hoped or dreamed. Is a sure fire way to feel depressed.
A midlife crisis is no different to any other psychological crisis, which is what we’re actually talking about here and they aren’t age dependent. They occur anytime you’re asleep to the joy of life and disconnected from your inner capacity to be happy whatever your age.
The Midlife Crisis Myth
Personally most of my late 20 and 30’s felt like really hard work, mainly because I was emotionally immature, it wasn’t until I discovered I was going to be a dad at the age of 30, that I woke up to seeing what a lousy teacher I’d be to my new son, unless I made some big changes.
Since then its been a difficult transitory period. Yet I’ve come to appreciate that when life feels in crisis, it is in fact a great opportunity for personal transformation.
The way you look at your life will always be the defining factor. We know change is inevitable, so if instead of trying to fight it, you see it as an opportunity for greater happiness, you’ll enjoy the process way more.
I thank god for the urge I had to question who I was and the life I was living, which some would define as telltale signs of a midlife crisis. Without it, self doubt would have kept me playing life in the shadows, ignorant to the idea I could live in greater alignment with my highest values.
I’d still be stagnating, working a mind numbing 9-5, commuting 18 hours a week, feeling like I was wasting my life being somewhere I didn’t want to be, with people I didn’t want to be with day after day, settling for the life I thought I should have rather than the one I want.
I thank god for the urge to change and try something new, because the fact is men who live their lives purposefully fulfilling their dreams, are less likely to experience a crisis at any age. (tweet this).
I wouldn’t dream of going backwards. It would be like trying to convince a butterfly to return to its cocoon and give up its new found gift of seeing life from a higher perspective.
So the bottom line is, if you want to know how to avoid a midlife crisis, embrace the opportunity to change and evolve with open arms. Life is an adventure.
Let the desire for more out of life, help you to see that who you’ve been, isn’t who you want to be, rather than worrying about the growing number of wrinkles or hairs sprouting from your ears.
Let others label your choice for change as a midlife crisis as they remain fearfully stuck in adventureless lives, whilst you continue your quest for greater freedom, joy and authenticity.
Surely this is what’s most important and this is how you avoid a midlife crisis, by loving life no matter how old you are.
If you want help navigating change and creating a more authentic, purpose life. I work with men who want to develop the clarity, confidence and self belief that enables them to break free from limited ideas that hold them back from creating the kind of life they truly deserve. Find out more here.
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