How to Change Your Life With One Decision

How to Change Your Life With One Decision

By Jamie Matthewman
March 26th, 2015

I am passionate about personal transformation, I’ve spent the last 11 years seeking out and working with some of the biggest names in the fields of positive psychology, coaching and spiritual growth. I have read hundreds of books, spent tens of thousands and invested much of my time learning in the name of changing myself.

When I first decided I wanted to transform my life I didn’t appreciate that change is a constant. You cannot not change, it is always occurring to your body and to your mind. Some of it conscious, but most changes, the subtle one’s that make a difference over time like your habits, go unnoticed until one day you wake up from the sleep and wonder how the hell did that happen? How did 30 years pass by and how did I waste the chance to really explore life?

One of the ways to avoid this is to STOP and take stock from time to time. To look at ones life and decide if it’s really OK. To see what is and isn’t working and determine if you’re evolving into the kind of man you really want to be. Fortunately 11 years ago I got a wake up call. But it wasn’t always like this.

throwing in the towel

11 years ago life felt really hard, I even considered throwing in the towel. Back then I didn’t know how to feel worthy or good enough to turn my life around but luckily something amazing happened that meant I couldn’t be that person anymore – I found out I was going to be a dad.

Over a few months I had a powerful urge to transform my life. It crept up gradually until I knew I couldn’t carry on behaving or showing up in the world the way I had. I needed to find out who I really was and what I was capable of, instead of living in the shadow of insecurity and fear. Enough was enough.

Now for you guys with kids you’ll know this is one of the biggest moments of your life and for me, my sons birth was the catalyst that made me decide to learn how to become the kind of man my son can be proud of at a time when I needed to grow up. It didn’t happen overnight and I won’t lie and tell you its been easy.

how to love yourself

I had lots of changing to do including quitting smoking, excessive drinking, recreational drugs but perhaps most importantly I had to learn how to love myself. I didn’t know this at first, I thought changing the external circumstances was the key, but eventually I’d realise that personal change is a rocky ride if it’s based on the assumption there’s something wrong with you. Self acceptance is one of the major steps of really allowing you to shine in life.

Most men aren’t trained to live this way. Few of us had parents or teachers in our early years who knew how to encourage us to express our truest self, to find out who we really are or follow the part of us that really brings us to life. Most of us are unconsciously governed by fear which holds us back and stops us fulfilling our true potential.

We innocently embrace the often misguided stories, passed down generation to generation by our families about what it means to live well, and accept the rules of society as gospel, never questioning their validity in our lives, until enough is enough or it’s too late to do anything about it.

I had to go and find people to show me another way of looking at life, what was possible and help me discover the truth about who I really am. I count myself very lucky for this, but the fact is most guys live out their days feeling like something’s missing, yearning for the excitement they felt when they were young, knowing deep down they have so much more to give. For some others the pain is too much to bear, and at some point enough becomes enough.

If you’re at that point of saying ‘fuck that’ to the life you’re living, you’re in a great position, because this clears the way for real change to occur. This rebellion against the status quo starts with you deciding enough is enough, which is repeated over and over as your vision for life grows bigger and more expansive. With every decision you let go of old habits of thinking that don’t serve you anymore and get in the way of the life you really want and deserve.

metamorphosis

It is a little like the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. Within the chrysalis, a cylindrical eating machine breaks down all tissue into clumps of cells that are re-used like a Lego bricks. Rebuilding itself into a beautiful flying creature.

When you decide enough is enough, you’re saying it’s time to break down your ‘old’ self, dispose of the habits that no longer serve you and the destructive thinking that’s kept you playing safe and small. If you stay on path you’ll get to a place where you really understand why you’re here, what really matters and ensure you don’t wake up in 30 years time kicking yourself in the butt because you blew the chance to create and live an authentically inspiring life.

Like within a caterpillar’s cocoon, deciding enough is enough starts the opportunity for you to explore transforming your life from the inside out – the place where real transformation occurs from which there’s no going back.

If you’re ready to leave the cocoon behind and you and transform into the man you’re destined to be, you might want to consider working with me. It would be my pleasure to support you on your journey. Here’s to you happiness and success in all areas of your life.

Jamie Matthewman

About Jamie Matthewman

Jamie is the founder, main contributor and editor of The Inspired Man.

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