This article about how to reinvent yourself, is written in response to a question sent in by a reader who wants to know “how can I become the man I want to be?”.
This is question every man would potentially benefit considering, because reinventing yourself is always about inner work. The place where real change happens.
Changes on the outside are superficial, if we’re not really clear about what we REALLY want and who we want to be on the inside first. This gets clearer and clearer the more appreciate this.
And yet self inquiry is something very few men undertake, but it’s one of the most transformational habits you can develop if you want to live with a greater sense of authenticity and clarity about what matters most.
So where do you start?
Well in this case, the readers question presupposes he’s feeling a sense of discontent. This can be great motivation to get the wheels of change moving, but can also make the journey of transformation seem like a hard fight.
At least that’s my experience, when I first began looking to create change in my life, I really didn’t like myself much. I thought I was a lost cause, it took me a longtime to appreciate adding more to my life such as money, faster cars, women etc wasn’t the answer.
They are nice to haves, but reinvention is first and foremost an inside job. We have to shift from being a victim to being the source of power and creation in our lives.
To do this we need an inspiring vision we believe in. The question suggests this guy has an idea of this, however perhaps this isn’t totally clear yet.
This doesn’t matter because life rarely tallies with our best laid plans, in fact thinking we need to have every aspect identified before we start will hold us back.
As with any project, the clearer the vision, the easier it is to identify how to get there but you’ll only ever know the next step once you’ve taken the first.
Action provides the feedback we need to know where to go next. We evolve and out ideas change as we take bold action.
The caveat here is that if you’re looking to change because you don’t believe you’re good enough, it will be a difficult process. The desire to become the man you want to be is powerful, but problems arise when reinvention is founded on insecurity.
If this inquiry is undertaken with a focus on something being wrong with you, this self condemnation will get in the way of kindness, a state of mind which will allow you to see the greater truth of who you really are and who you want to become.
It will mean your ambitions remain low and keep you aspiring for less than you deserve.
Authentic change requires a deep sense of self respect and compassion for who you are today. If you begin this process believing you’re not good enough, you’ll never unlock the courage required to move towards greater authenticity.
People often want to change themselves because they don’t think they’re good enough, but that’s never true. We all have ways of thinking which get in the way of success, but these are merely a by product of earlier conditioning.
They aren’t who we really are.
However they are very powerful, because they create our experience of life moment to moment. They hide the truth of who we are and get in the way of freedom and transformation, so we need to stay alert to them playing out in our lives.
Where to Start with Reinventing Yourself – 9 Questions to Deepen the inquiry
If becoming the man you want to be is just a vague idea, the place to start is by deepening the inquiry. Unless you know what this idea stands for and ways to put this into action it’s meaningless.
So to get you started here are 9 questions for you to take consider. Come up with as many answers as spring to mind, you can refine them overtime.
There is no rush, keep coming back to them. Take your time enjoying discovering the kind of man you’d love to be (download here).
1. The kind of man I really want to be is…
2. For what purpose do I want to become the kind of man? What will this lead to?
3. What does it mean to me and for me to be the kind of man I want to be?
4. Where am I already succeeding as a man?
5. Where am I failing in my quest to be the kind of man I want to be?
6. Where do I notice I need to improve and how can I do this?
7. Looking ahead what are 20 actions I can take over the coming weeks and months that will create the changes I want in my life?
8. Now going forward having already become the kind of man I want to be, looking back what resources do I notice supported me on my journey of transformation?
9. What’s the very next physical action I can take to get started?
4 Ways to Support Your Transformation
Transformation is of course an individual process. No one can do it for you, but there are ways to achieve greater results in a quicker period of time. Here are 4 ideas you might want to consider :
1. Work with a coach – I’ve had some of my most transformational times in my life whilst working with a coach. I can wholeheartedly say its the best investment you’ll ever make is in yourself. It doesn’t just improve your life it improves everyone’s around you.
It is a priceless investment if you value your own happiness and success, because working with a coach helps you identify your blind spots and help you to see what’s working and what’s not with far greater precision. If this interests you, I personally work with a limited number of men each year, you can find out more here.
2. Purify – what you focus on and you put into your body determines how you feel. If you’re thinking’s of a low quality just like your food intake, you’re going to feel stressed and low in mood and energy. This isn’t a place where transformation occurs. So learn don’t get caught up in thinking that lowers your mood and keep your food intake as pure as possible. Plenty of fresh fruit, vegetables and water, it’s not rocket science.
3. Join a community of like minded individuals – the support of others, whether this is via coaching or some other group or community will help and support you to become your best. A group that will call you out and help you to see where you’re succeeding and perhaps allowing old habits to resurface. You’re welcome to join The Inspired Man private community here. 4. Surround yourself with like minded people – those on the same path who teach and inspire you to become better. It’s these kinds of people who’ll help and support you to make the leap from where you are today to where you want to be. 5. Sign up for The Inspired Man’s FREE 90 Day Transformation Program – Offering you powerful lessons in personal change and a step by step pathway to living a more conscious, courageous and authentic life.
Self inquiry is a powerful tool for transformation, one necessary for growing self awareness and identify blind spots. However make sure the desire for change is coming from a place of compassion rather than lack. If this is the case, work on loving yourself more initially.
It is far more useful to praise ourselves for having the courage and self awareness to want to change, than to beat ourselves up for not being good enough.
To increase the pace of change and to get a more objective view of yourself, working with a coach is a powerful way to speed up the process.
Finally enjoy the process of change, it’s a lifetimes work and it’s unlikely to be a easy ride as you’ve probably already found out. Continue to relish in the wins, take learning’s from the setbacks and go easy on yourself.
The Inspired Man participates in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program. This means that whenever you buy a book on Amazon from a link on here, The Inspired Man gets a very small percentage of its price. This helps support The Inspired Man by offsetting a fraction of what it takes to maintain the site, and is very much appreciated.