How to Stop Worrying About the Future – Response to Readers Question
This is a response to a question (shown below) sent in by an Inspired Man reader…
How do I tell myself and convince myself that the future won’t be bad , that everything will work out the way its suppose to , when I don’t even know what the future holds ?
Many thanks for your question. Here are my thoughts…
First of all there’s no way life won’t work out the way it’s supposed to, it does every moment of everyday.
Although many people struggle and fight life, as though it were their enemy, it isn’t against you, even though at times it feels difficult. Your experience of ‘life’ is governed by your level of consciousness moment to moment.
Suffering happens when we choose to argue with what it is. If you decide life’s not how it’s supposed to be, because you don’t like the way things are, creating change comes from a place of lack, which in my experience can be stressful and feels hard work.
The only way life won’t ever feel like it’s supposed to be, is if you judge that it’s not OK. Without any judgement life is what it is, based on the choices you’ve made and as a result of the many other things out of your control. If your life was meant to be different, it would be. You would be. Until it is, it is exactly as it’s supposed to be.
This doesn’t mean you can’t begin to make wiser choices, learn to face fear, become more aware, learn new skills etc etc But even then life is still always working out the way it’s supposed to. We don’t have total control, we are passengers on the ship. The journey’s end unknown, but each mile traveled is always exactly as it should be. If were meant to be different it would be.
All we can do is show up with a sense of joy, gratitude and appreciation. From this place we get to unlock our creativity, make a difference in the world and give life the respect it deserves. We don’t run the show however much we might think we do. Yes we have a say and yes we have control over our experience. But the end game is far from certain.
So bearing that in mind you can relax in the knowing that life will unfold as it’s meant to and you’ll never know for sure what the future holds. You can make some good guesses, but nothing’s promised. The life we expect can change in an instant. In fact the more we expect, the more we’ll be disappointed.
I would like to be able to promise you that everything will work out as you want, but I don’t know that. What I do know is that in my own experience, life has never been as difficult or hard as I’d imagined. Life is usually always easier than we think.
But the FACT is the future DOESN’T even exist, so in someways you can forget about that too. There REALLY is only ever this moment and the more you stay connected to it, the more chance you have of creating the kind of life you want.
You have ALWAYS lived in this present moment. You can’t escape it – there is no escape. The ONLY way you’ll ever disconnect from now is when you’re thinking about the past or the future.
There isn’t anything wrong with this, it’s great to look back at some of the amazing times you’ve had, to reflect on past mistakes so that you can learn valuable lessons or think about what you want to create or make the future about.
Thinking is a powerful gift we all have. It is the source of the many wondrous innovations and beautiful pieces of art that have brought joy to our lives. But it is also the source of much of the human misery and discontent we experience.
Problems occur when you’re thinking about the future contains anxious kinds of thoughts (I’m sure you know the one’s I mean) because you’re going to feel that sense of anxiety NOW. In this present moment.
Without an understanding of how the nature of thought really works, it looks like it’s the future creating those feelings. But this isn’t true.
Your thoughts and feelings are intimately connected. Your feelings always provide you with REALLY accurate feedback, in real time about where you’re focusing your attention. Thoughts and feelings are like two sides on the same coin.
Your feelings can never tell you about the future, they don’t know about the future but they do inform you whether you’re connected to the present moment or off in your head worrying about the future.
This isn’t about thinking positive or negative thoughts, rather it’s about understanding where your feelings come from. You have 40,000+ thoughts everyday so it’s highly likely that you’ll experience both positive and negative thoughts. But thinking is totally innocent unless you start to believe it has more power than that.
It is just thinking.
The future isn’t promised, the only thing that is, is this moment. The more you remain present and connected to this to it, the greater clarity and peace you’ll feel. Life comes to life when you stop worrying about a future that doesn’t really exist.
Let me know what you make of this in the comments section below…
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